I am slowly learning to be content with life's circumstances and what God deems best for my life. Heartache is something I don't wish on anyone. Losing someone who you loved the most I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But why does God bring us to these points of desperate loneliness where we feel as if life will never be as happy again as it was before? I'm certain God wants my heart, my all, my everything to be His and His alone. I desire to be complete in Him, content and happy with whatever He brings my way, whether that be live in a third world country for the remainder of my life, whether that be to remain single and never marry (marriage is my biggest and most treasured dream), or whether that be to fight an illness that has no cure. Who knows? Who knows what life is going to bring me as each day passes. I'm learning to take one day at a time, and to still dream. God made me to dream. Goodness knows I have countless dreams and aspirations, I'd be surprised if I even accomplish half of them in my lifetime.
Without dreams, what enjoyment can there be in life? Yes, you can have happy circumstances surrounding you, but what if there are no goals or dreams to work toward? I want to be ambitious and to remain that way until I leave this world. I don't want to settle for the mundane, the average way of life. I want to experience all that God wants to offer me in the life which I am certain that it's more than I can even comprehend! Life is not about how much fun we get out of it, although I believe God does want us to be happy. Life is about fulfilling our destiny in the One who made us, and that ultimately is what is most completing and gratifying!
As each night turns into another new day, I pray that I can leave behind any mistakes or hurts of the past, and embrace the liberty and joy that Jesus promises to those who love Him! I love the phrase of the hymn "To God be the glory, great things He has done." [and great things He will continue to do!]
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Many decisions to make
I've finished 4 straight night shifts at work, and now find I can't sleep...how crazy... I have so much on my mind though....mainly of all the decisions I need to make in a matter of the next 2 weeks. Where do I go from here? Back home to Virginia? Any travel assignment that is offered to me? Or my most recent thought: what about just picking up and moving to wherever and becoming a staff nurse at a hospital? B/c the pickings are so slim with travel nursing, I've considered opting for the lower pay of a staff nurse, but this way, I can choose wherever I want to go. And my most recent idea? Hawaii?!?!
Is Hawaii too far out there? Is it too big of a step? Moving to Hawaii?? With no idea of how long I'll live there? I know I could not live there long term, I'd be too homesick for my family back East. But what about for just several months? Maybe 6 months? Why not???
I'm praying about so many decisions at the moment, I feel like I can't keep them straight. I desire CLARITY today from the Lord....
Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6 2 awesome verses....
Is Hawaii too far out there? Is it too big of a step? Moving to Hawaii?? With no idea of how long I'll live there? I know I could not live there long term, I'd be too homesick for my family back East. But what about for just several months? Maybe 6 months? Why not???
I'm praying about so many decisions at the moment, I feel like I can't keep them straight. I desire CLARITY today from the Lord....
Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6 2 awesome verses....
Friday, January 23, 2009
Hard times
What is God doing?? I'm hurting, aching from the deepest parts of my heart. I don't understand. Why would he take the most important thing in my life away? It was beautiful, it was perfect. It had shortcomings, but I know those were just temporary. I saw beyond those things, I saw amazing love, commitment, and desire to please even through the hard times. How long will this take? Will God bring it back to me? Where do I go from here? How do I live in victory every day when my heart cries without stopping?
Oh God, be my portion, my everything. I cannot do this without you...
Oh God, be my portion, my everything. I cannot do this without you...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
4Runner meets Honda
Hello once again from the great state of Texas. Have you ever heard the song "Empty Me" by Chris Sligh? Excellent song with great lyrics. I had the pleasure of helping someone out today, and this song came to mind afterwards.
I was running by my hospital to pick up a pizza I had left at work last night, parked my 4Runner outside the "EC" (Emergency Center as fondly called by LBJ), turned my hazard lights on, and was back outside within a matter of 60 seconds, not wanting to tick anyone off that I'd left my car in the ambulance bay. As I was approaching my car, I saw a well-dressed, 40ish black woman peering in the window of my car, and upon seeing me coming up, she asked me if that was my car. I answered "yes," and being me, became suspicious of her question and reasoning of it. Although she was well dressed and polite, LBJ Hospital is not in a safe place of town, so my antenna are always up. She then proceeded to ask if I could help her jump-start her car as she had been with a patient in the EC all day and was now trying to go home. I agreed, and drove my 4Runner around to where she was parked. Now this simple request should have in no way irritated me, but as I had other errands to run and wanting to get home before it got too late, I am ashamed that at first I did not want to help her. I saw her car was parked forward in the parking space with about a 8 ft section of grass and concrete sidewalk on the other end....and she had cars parked on either side of her....basically no way of jump-starting her car unless we got other people to help push it out of the spot. However....this is where I think God gave me a great idea and being the adventuresome person I am, I became excited about finding a way to jump-start her car. (new Honda Accord by the way) Remembering I now drive an SUV for the first time in my life, I backed my car up, and drove it up onto the sidewalk and grassy area with not much room to spare from touching other nearby cars. Second time in a week I'm thankful I have an SUV, my old Honda would not have been able... Without further problems, she and I attached the cables and restarted her car. She thanked me kindly, asked me my name, and we made small talk for a few minutes. As I left the parking lot to run the rest of my errands, I felt content. I felt happy I had the privilege of helping someone in need, even in just the simple task of jump-starting a car. On the way down the road, I heard from my quiet radio what I thought was the "Empty Me" song. As I turned up the volume, sure enough it was....God spoke to me tonight, in a small way.
Sure this isn't a grand story of God's moving dramatically in my heart, but to me it means just as much as those bigger stories of God's moving in people's lives. I'm just happy I answered God's call to help this woman. What touches from God I would have missed out on if I had ignored her request and said I was too busy at the moment?!
My story/lesson for today...
I was running by my hospital to pick up a pizza I had left at work last night, parked my 4Runner outside the "EC" (Emergency Center as fondly called by LBJ), turned my hazard lights on, and was back outside within a matter of 60 seconds, not wanting to tick anyone off that I'd left my car in the ambulance bay. As I was approaching my car, I saw a well-dressed, 40ish black woman peering in the window of my car, and upon seeing me coming up, she asked me if that was my car. I answered "yes," and being me, became suspicious of her question and reasoning of it. Although she was well dressed and polite, LBJ Hospital is not in a safe place of town, so my antenna are always up. She then proceeded to ask if I could help her jump-start her car as she had been with a patient in the EC all day and was now trying to go home. I agreed, and drove my 4Runner around to where she was parked. Now this simple request should have in no way irritated me, but as I had other errands to run and wanting to get home before it got too late, I am ashamed that at first I did not want to help her. I saw her car was parked forward in the parking space with about a 8 ft section of grass and concrete sidewalk on the other end....and she had cars parked on either side of her....basically no way of jump-starting her car unless we got other people to help push it out of the spot. However....this is where I think God gave me a great idea and being the adventuresome person I am, I became excited about finding a way to jump-start her car. (new Honda Accord by the way) Remembering I now drive an SUV for the first time in my life, I backed my car up, and drove it up onto the sidewalk and grassy area with not much room to spare from touching other nearby cars. Second time in a week I'm thankful I have an SUV, my old Honda would not have been able... Without further problems, she and I attached the cables and restarted her car. She thanked me kindly, asked me my name, and we made small talk for a few minutes. As I left the parking lot to run the rest of my errands, I felt content. I felt happy I had the privilege of helping someone in need, even in just the simple task of jump-starting a car. On the way down the road, I heard from my quiet radio what I thought was the "Empty Me" song. As I turned up the volume, sure enough it was....God spoke to me tonight, in a small way.
Sure this isn't a grand story of God's moving dramatically in my heart, but to me it means just as much as those bigger stories of God's moving in people's lives. I'm just happy I answered God's call to help this woman. What touches from God I would have missed out on if I had ignored her request and said I was too busy at the moment?!
My story/lesson for today...
Friday, January 16, 2009
My name is Deborah Rachel Easter
So how in the world did I decide to start this blog thing?....I find that I have random thoughts throughout my day that I'd love to "get down on paper," maybe even let others read them so they can get to know me better. I know some things will be crazy, most of it completely random with no true path to which I create an ending. Peruse thru these if you may.....this is me.
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